From my son – Jonathan
In Middle School I asked my dad if I could go to a friend’s party where I knew the festivities would be less than “kosher”. I knew he would say “no” and I would be off the hook.
But he didn’t say “no”. He asked, “What do you think? Do you think this party would be beneficial for you?”
It totally threw me off-guard. His question forced me to take responsibility for my actions. Based on the girl’s reputation, I couldn’t imagine anything good would happen. I decided I wouldn’t go.
I don’t know if Dad knew what he was doing but this was one of the big moments where I started thinking like an adult. It was no longer about running around aimlessly hoping Dad would make my important choices for me. I now had the responsibility for making my own wise choices.
The scary thing is I’m pretty sure he would have let me go if I’d convinced myself it was alright. I’m glad I made the right decision. And I’m pretty sure I saw him breathe a sigh of relief when he heard my response, too.
Dad’s thoughts.
I’m not sure if I was being a brilliant Dad or if it was dumb luck but I do know it’s better to learn to swim in a pool with lifeguards than alone in the open ocean.
If we don’t let our kids make some choices – even some bad ones – when they are living at home under the watch of their parental “lifeguards” they aren’t going to know how to “swim” when they get released into the open ocean.
Obviously I’m not talking about standing back while they engage in blatant sin or dangerous behavior. But there are a lot of decisions we can let our kids make that aren’t right or wrong, just decisions between good, better or best.
We can use these as “pools” where we give a few pointers then turn them loose to see how they swim. Did they make the best decision or did they swallow a little water?
They might surprise you – of course it might not be a pleasant surprise. But even when they make a wrong choice it’s a chance for them to experience the inner voice of the Holy Spirit. It’s crucial they learn to hear His voice because you won’t always be with them to guide them. But He said He would be.
They need to learn to hear His voice in a safe “pool” because one day, no matter how much you want to shelter them, they will have to swim in the open ocean with gigantic waves of relativism, shifting standards and fluid morals. You certainly want them to know how to cry out to Him and hear His voice amidst the chaos of the swells.
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you. Psalm 32:8
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