I recently released a book entitled Five Times You Should Not Spank Your Child.
While spanking should be a rare event it definitely is a Biblical tool parents need to keep in their toolbox. It is also definitely a misunderstood parenting topic. Here are three misunderstandings I keep running across.
1- Spanking teaches children that violence is an acceptable way to deal with problems.
I agree that it can imply violence is a way to solve problems if a parent is using it as a way to solve his or her own problem with anger. Then it will likely be a violent act.
But when done properly spanking is not an act of violence.
Violence: behavior involving physical force intended to hurt, damage, or kill someone.
The purpose of spanking is not to hurt a child and certainly not to damage or kill them. The purpose is simply to bring them to a point of repentance. For some children that can mean a tiny swat on the bottom. For others it may require some pain but certainly not abusive pain, as explained in point number 2.
2- Spanking is child abuse.
Abuse: to treat with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly.
Properly done, spanking is neither cruel nor violent. And, if done properly, it will be a rare event. There won’t be a need to spank a child very often, certainly not regularly or repeatedly.
It will likely mean inflicting some pain – especially for a more resistant, rebellious child – but it’s no more abusive than sticking a needle into a perfectly healthy child and filling their little bodies with a virus. Vaccinations cause pain but we tolerate them because we know it will avoid a greater pain in the future. Spanking causes controlled pain now so the child learns to avoid the greater pain our society inflicts upon a person who has not learned self-control.
The Bible actually says a parent who does not spank doesn’t love their children. I’ve seen that as I’ve talked to parents who were more concerned about the trauma and inconvenience it caused them than they were about what would become of their child if left undisciplined.
Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them. – Proverbs 13:24
3- Spanking may have been OK during Bible times but it’s a barbaric discipline method for people living in our modern society.
I don’t expect unbelievers to hold God’s Word in high esteem so I’m not surprised when they think they can improve upon God’s methods or that we have evolved beyond Biblical wisdom.
But it’s surprising to me that among some Christians spanking is a controversial topic. It seems that if you trust the Bible to teach you how to get to heaven it should be able to also instruct you on how to train your children – so they get there also.
Get more information – The book: 5 Times You Should Not Spank Your Child
Order a Kindle or paperback version.
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