“I know my dad loves me. But I wish he liked me, too.”
That so accurately expresses the feelings of many kids today.
Of course you love your kids but do they know you also like them? What are some ways we can let our kids know we like them? How can we help them feel loved?
Here are some things I’ve seen as I watch parents interact with their children.
- Look them in the eye when you talk with them.
This communicates that you value and are focused on them. With younger ones it will mean getting down to their level. When I see an adult talking to the top of a child’s head I often wonder how they would feel if they had to look up the nostrils of some 15 foot giant towering over them while “Goliath” talked down to their bald spot.
- Smile
The power of a smile is amazing. It communicates, “I not only love you, I like you. I enjoy being with you.”
It’s easy to let the stress of life control our face so we scowl all the time.
God is light … lighten up … smile now and then.
- Remember – emotionally – what it was like to be a kid
Geez! Some adults are so stiff I wonder if they ever were a kid. Show a little wonder at the world around you. Do something undignified. When you’re 60 years old like me undignified stuff can be painful but it signals a kid that you are approachable.
Jesus said, “Suffer the little children to come unto me …” Do you suppose the suffer part had to do with his knees and back hurting when he bent down to look them in the eye and talk with them?
With older kids don’t minimize their crises. You know they’ll get over it but they don’t. Remember how brutal school can be, how devastating it was to be embarrassed in front of others, how it felt to be picked last – or not at all. And don’t give the pat adult answers. Just listen and empathize.
Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. – Romans 12:15
Some folks love their kids the way they selfishly love a dog. When it’s convenient they lavish love on the pooch but when they’re done, they’re done. They shoo the dog away to get on with other things.
If we want our kids to feel loved (and liked) we need to act like we love them.
We must show love through actions that are sincere, not through empty words. – 1 John 3:18
For more ideas check out this great book: How to really love your child by Dr. Ross Campbell
No Comments