It might be hard but it needs to be said.

You gotta love Italians.

As a young minister I was teaching a class and as part of an illustration I said my wife recently asked me if I loved her. At the close of the class, a sweet older Italian woman came up, put her arm around me and whispered in my ear, “Sweetie, if she has to ask, you aren’t saying it enough.”

Ouch! That hurt. But it was the good kind of hurt. I needed to hear it. She was right.
From that day on I decided I was going to regularly tell my wife, and later my kids, that they were loved. I haven’t always done it as much as I should but I have never regretted making the effort.

If they have to ask, you aren’t saying it enough.

I’ve got lots of excuses for not regularly telling my family I love them.
But the Lord confronts me every time and demolishes every lame excuse.

“When I was growing up my family didn’t express our feelings.”
So what. Get over it. You can change and not perpetuate this weakness on another generation.

“I’m just not comfortable saying things like that.”
You aren’t comfortable doing anything new. But with practice it gets natural. If something is important to you you’ll practice it again and again until you get good at it. Telling your family they are loved is important – in fact of top priority.

“They know I love them.”
And how are they to know that if you don’t say it? Most people deal with so many insecurities and self-doubts that even when they’re told they are loved they don’t truly believe it. They must hear it and see it demonstrated again and again.

“I just forget to say it.”
You make notes to remind you of all kinds of other important things – pop up reminders on your phone, sticky notes on your mirror or computer monitor. You need to treat this like any other important activity and find ways to remind yourself.

I may be Swedish but I dare not be like one old Swede I heard about. His wife asked if he loved her and a little frustrated he responded, “Forty years ago when I married you I told you I loved you. If anything changes, I’ll let you know.”

My spouse and my kids need to know they are loved.
We all need to be regularly reminded of it because we tend to forget.
Our “love bucket” is very leaky and needs to be constantly filled back up.

And we need to be told in a “language” we understand.
Learn their love language.
Speak it fluently. Speak it regularly.

Our love should be so evident in our words and actions that even when we goof up, get angry and respond in unloving ways – as we all sometimes do with our kids and our spouse – they will still know they are loved unconditionally.

Now, please excuse me, I am feeling a need to go tell my wife how much I love her.
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Romans 5:8
God demonstrated his love for us …