A frustrated mom was talking to me about her daughter, “She is just so strong willed. I don’t know what to do with her.”
I hadn’t really seen that in the girl so I asked her why she thought her daughter was strong-willed.
“I have to tell her something over and over again. She just doesn’t seem to get it. What else could it be?”
“Well”, I responded, “some of it could be because she is only 3 years old.”
Three years old or thirteen years old, sometimes our kids just don’t seem to “get it” the first time or the fifteenth time we tell them something.
If I get a chance to advise God on creating a new universe, I have a suggestion that will really help out.
I think we should be able to, as the saying goes, slap sense into folks.
Imagine how great it would be if you could take your teenage son aside for a moment, SLAP … SLAP and he would respond, “Wow, Dad. Now I see what you mean. You are so right. I can’t believe I have such wonderful parents. Thanks!”
Slap, slap. We could empty the prisons and end all evil.
Slap, slap. The whole world would see things my way.
One of the reasons this is such a great improvement in child training is that it produces instant results.
I like instant.
In the real world I had to patiently tell my kids things again and again. As they got older I had to watch as they sometimes ignored my advice and ended up having to learn the same painful way I did – by experience.
If we could slap sense into people all the world’s problems could be quickly solved.
I like quickly. I don’t like being patient.
But as I say that I’m reminded that “Love is patient.” Patience is a primary virtue of God. Patience is one of the fruits of the Spirit that He wants to manifest in my life. (1 Corinthians 13:4, 2 Peter 3:9, Galatians 5:22, 23)
And I can only learn patience when I am in a frustrating situation where I don’t want to be patient – like training my children when they seem too slow to learn.
A scary thought just occurred to me.
What if child training is as much about training me – to be patient, kind, loving, gentle, self-controlled. What if it is as much about my heavenly Father training me as it is about me trying to train my kids? What if it is for my good that God designed them so they don’t “get it the first time”?
What if child training begins with self-training?
Could it be our children are sometimes the sandpaper God uses to polish the rough spots off us?
Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly.
Proverbs 14:29
Your Turn
How have your children made you more like Jesus?
What is the greatest lesson you have learned about God by being a parent?
Other thoughts or comments?
4 Comments
So timely!!!
Thanks Monica.
I see an irony in it being timely.
If this was timely because you have just been dealing with your children not “getting it the first time”,
then it is likely this will be timely again and again. 🙂
I have a daughter who is very “strong willed” in the sense you just put it.
I like the picture you chose and it hit a soft spot with me. My daughter has a hard time obeying the first time and in my garage I am building my wife a kitchen table. One thing I am learning is how to use hand tools, primarily hand planers like the one you have pictured. When my daughter was outside in the garage she had seen me planing the table and picked the planer up and tried doing it herself. She had seen my interest in doing this and wanted to give it a go herself. She is 3 by the way. Not making much progress on her own, I asked if she would like me to show her how to do it and with an attentive ear and a willing spirit she actually did quite well and was making significant progress in planing a table top for a 3 year old.
You make a great point and I think we in our society have over burdened ourselves with tasks, devices, and obligations that we forget to take the time to teach patiently with kindness and gentleness the things that we want instilled in our children knowing they won’t get it the first time. But it takes tender care to train a child in the way they should go so that when they are old, they do not depart from it.
Thanks for the great comment Eric.
I like your thoughts on not getting so occupied with temporary things of this life – tasks, devices and obligations – that we forget to invest in the one thing we can take with us from this life to heaven – our children.
Sounds like you are doing a great job.