It’s nice to have good kids but this is more important.

I probably have more Bible knowledge than the average Christian. (I would certainly hope so since I‘ve been teaching the Bible over 40 years.) But here’s something I’ve discovered. Bible knowledge does not equal Christ-likeness. That’s really discouraging to me because if it did I would totally be able to walk on water – especially when it’s below 32 degrees.

But I continually run into people who can’t explain their soteriology or justify their eschatology, they don’t know a homiletic from a hermeneutic but they radiate the love of Jesus in a way that makes me jealous.

See what I mean? I don’t think jealously is one of the 9 fruit of the spirit listed in Galatians 5. Were you impressed that I knew off the top of my head where that passage is and how many fruit there are? I can name them too, thanks to a song I learned years ago. How impressed were you that I also called them fruit, not fruits. After all, that’s what Galatians 5 says – fruit, singular – which may indicate that there’s only one fruit of the spirit – love – and that the other eight traits are expressions of love.

And that’s just what I’m talking about – knowing trivial facts about the fruit of the spirit doesn’t mean I’m producing any of them. In fact, the more I know the easier it is to become a proud fool who looks down on others. If knowledge produced godliness the Pharisees would have been near angelic beings. They knew their Bibles but didn’t even recognize the author when he was right in front of them.

So what does all this have to do with parenting?

As a Christian parent, I wanted my kids to memorize lots of Bible verses. I wanted them to know the Bible heroes and their stories. It was cool when they could sing the books of the Bible song (I never did get that one straight) and maybe even win the “Sword Drill” (Does anybody even know what that is anymore?).

That was all great and even important but … but it was so easy to forget that head knowledge does not equal heart change. I had to always remind myself that I didn’t want to teach my kids how to live like a Christian. I wanted them to be Christians – committed followers of Jesus Christ.

That would only happen if …

1. I model it.
   I needed to be a committed follower of Jesus.

2. I praise it.
   I had to remember to compliment them for Christlikeness as much as I did for good grades or success in sports, dance, art or other things they did.

3. I expect it.
   I had to remind myself regularly that the goal is not a well-behaved child but a child that has a heart to please God – even if their behavior sometimes doesn’t reflect it.

It’s nice to have good looking kids but our goal is god-loving kids.

And so the Lord says, “These people say they are mine. They honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. And their worship of me is nothing but man-made rules learned by rote.
Isaiah 29:13 (NLT)